Thrown Out on My Ass

A popular burrito place wants to charge you extra for meat. We know this. However I basically don’t get anything else on my burrito and get charged the same so I’m not happy about this.

I get a tiny bit of rice (tiny, like a teaspoon), a teaspoon of beans. Normal scoop of meat (which they usually short me on because otherwise it looks like too much meat to bean and rice ratio), then just cheese and sour cream.

They charge me the full amount for a burrito half (and sometimes) a third the size of my friends.

So I started asking for all the other ingredients on the side. My small portion of beans on the burittio, the rest on another foil sheet. Same for beans, then the salsa, veggies, etc are all on the other foil too. Then at the register I tell them I don’t want all that extra stuff and they can throw it away.

I’m not allowed back at that burrito place anymore.

Advertisements

Improving Society

I wonder how productive of a society we would be if all these triangle scheme participants gave the slightest of interest in education instead of trying to claim their next victim.

Chain Coffee Shop | Houston, TX

How it Came to Be

I think the game of horseshoes was invented by a blacksmith who was unshoeing (…deshoeing…reshoeing..???) a horse, and he happened to toss the old shoe aside and it just so happened to land around a post.

His, then apprentice, seeing an undefined “ringer,” bet his boss two schillings that he couldn’t do it again.

And thus the game of hor shoes was born.

After note… I think team games were invented because most of the blacksmith in those days were probably fat lazy drunks who didn’t want to walk further than 10 feet.

Gym bathroom | Houston, TX

Donkey Reccomendation

I would not recommend applying sun tan lotion while sitting on the pot having diarrhea…

Something about it just doesn’t feel right.

Home master bathroom | Houston, TX

I Try Not To Judge

You never know what people are going through, that’s why I try not to judge…

…When I encounter someone with terribly bad breath they could have halitosis and cannot help it so I try not to judge.

…when I see a very obese person they probably know it and have been struggling to loose weight for years with no success so I try not to judge.

…when I see someone driving a broken down car, it could be all they could afford because of medical bills or something else so I try not to judge.

BUT…when you come to breakfast at a public restaurant after working out without taking a shower first and you stink like BO and we can smell you from 6 feet away well you’re a lazy piece of shit that needs to get some common sense.

American Bistro | Houston, Tx

Frightening Realization

You know when you see a loose roll of toilet paper sitting on top of the handicap rail, or on top of the toilet paper dispenser. I’ve often wiped my rear using this more easily-accessible roll. I’m sure you have too.

But today I’m reminded of a road trip I took. I stopped off at a gas station bathroom to do my business. As I was finishing up I fumbled with the loose roll and it fell to the floor and rolled outside my stall. There was no other toilet paper in the dispenser so I resorted to using paper towels (ouch, I know, but I was just grateful I was in a the handicap stall with its own sink).

As I left I picked up the roll and placed it back in the stall so the next person would not be sh** out of luck.

That was 3 months ago and it is only today that I realized, the next person that used that roll wiped their rear end with a roll of paper that tumbled across a filthy gas station bathroom floor. And today I further realized that if I, a former athlete, dropped the roll, then there is a good chance someone else in the history of using the bathroom has dropped a roll on a dirty bathroom floor and also put it back….

…and then I’ve probably used it because I’m lazy and use the loose rolls more often than the rolls in the dispenser.

My life is forever altered.

20170603-105908.jpg